And I better god damned sound off that I love the virgin mary?thibodeaux wrote:You better at least teach him who Jesus is, or else move to some Godless heathen country like Russia, you commie.
Spenglish - Or, "funny shit our kids say"
GORDON wrote:I was reminded of this yesterday...
Last Christmas with my family from my Dad's side, WHO I LOVE SO MUCH AND ARE SO AWESOME...
Several of them are apparently very religious, and wanted us all to hold hands and sing happy birthday to jesus.
I'm serious.
I hate that stuff, but in order to not be the christmas dick I just bite my tongue and hold hands. I don't participate in the singling/praying/whatever they are doing that day, but I don't raise a ruckus. I try to be respectful of their beliefs, because I love them so much and they are so awesome.
But anyway, they start singing happy birthday to jesus.
It ends and my five year old son looks up at me and asks, "Who's Jesus?"
I barked out a laugh.
I might have to say something about it this year at the gathering. The over-the-top religious stuff makes me uncomfortable both for me and him. I'd honestly rather not go at all if they are going to do that.
I hate the religious holidays...
My Fiancee and her family are big into the "Midnight Mass" thing.
If you have never sat in complete silence for 10 minutes watching a LED clock count down to midnight, you haven't actually gone to church.
Edited By Troy on 1291999606
If you have never sat in complete silence for 10 minutes watching a LED clock count down to midnight, you haven't actually gone to church.
If that constitutes worship, I'm pretty sure god made the world on a drunken bet after a few shots of Jagermeister.
Diogenes of Sinope: "It is not that I am mad, it is only that my head is different from yours."
Arnold Judas Rimmer, BSC, SSC: "Better dead than smeg."
Arnold Judas Rimmer, BSC, SSC: "Better dead than smeg."
Every week in Kindergarten they focus their learning on the next to letters of the alphabet... last week was "S" and "T." They have a little folder with a page for each letter and they practice writing that letter, then draw/paste pictures of 5 things that start with that letter.
Check out the first thing he drew for "T."
Check out the first thing he drew for "T."
"Be bold, and mighty forces will come to your aid."
Frequently I will have a German shoutcast techno station on for background noise in the house, depending on my mood. The DJs usually speak German, but sometimes they speak German-accented English.
My 6 year old just started speaking German-accented English. It is hilarious. He has a good ear.
My 6 year old just started speaking German-accented English. It is hilarious. He has a good ear.
"Be bold, and mighty forces will come to your aid."
This year there was a bible reading, we sang happy birthday to jesus, the holding-hands prayer circle, and an actual birthday cake for jesus.GORDON wrote:I hate that stuff, but in order to not be the christmas dick I just bite my tongue and hold hands. I don't participate in the singling/praying/whatever they are doing that day, but I don't raise a ruckus. I try to be respectful of their beliefs, because I love them so much and they are so awesome.
But anyway, they start singing happy birthday to jesus.
It ends and my five year old son looks up at me and asks, "Who's Jesus?"
I barked out a laugh.
May have to skip next year. I feel a bad cold coming on.
"Be bold, and mighty forces will come to your aid."
My daughter thinks Jesus is a girl. My parents bout her a little people nativity set a couple of years back so Jesus is always doing something funny.
This year, we were listening to Christmas carols, and she said "is this the one with baby Jesus in it? Can we skip it and go to the Christmas songs?"
"yes, honey, we can listen to the Christmas songs written by Jews."
This year, we were listening to Christmas carols, and she said "is this the one with baby Jesus in it? Can we skip it and go to the Christmas songs?"
"yes, honey, we can listen to the Christmas songs written by Jews."
It's not me, it's someone else.
-
thibodeaux
- Posts: 8056
- Joined: Thu May 20, 2004 7:32 pm
This morning. I am teaching him about alleles and how genetic traits are passed to offspring.
Kid: What traits did I get from you?
Me: Great personality, really funny, very good looking, and high intelligence.
Kid: What did I get from mommy?
Me: Her ears.
And a few minutes later.....
Kid: What if I looked exactly like you?
Me: Well, that happens sometimes.
Kid: But I don't want an afro!
....
Me: Who do you think your father is?
Edited By GORDON on 1397224760
Kid: What traits did I get from you?
Me: Great personality, really funny, very good looking, and high intelligence.
Kid: What did I get from mommy?
Me: Her ears.
And a few minutes later.....
Kid: What if I looked exactly like you?
Me: Well, that happens sometimes.
Kid: But I don't want an afro!
....
Me: Who do you think your father is?
Edited By GORDON on 1397224760
"Be bold, and mighty forces will come to your aid."
Kid: What traits did I get from you?
Me: Great personality, really funny, very good looking, and high intelligence.
Who do YOU think his father is?
“Every record been destroyed or falsified, books rewritten, pictures repainted, statues, street building renamed, every date altered. The process is continuing day by day. History stops. Nothing exists except endless present in which the Party is right.”
Today in the car on the way to Ann Arbor, MI where my mother in law has a doctor appointment. MIL is trying to make conversation with her 8 year old grandson as he plays games on his Kindle.
MIL: Do you know what games we used to play when I was little?
Son: Yeah, you kicked cans.
MIL: Do you know what games we used to play when I was little?
Son: Yeah, you kicked cans.
"Be bold, and mighty forces will come to your aid."
Fox News is on as the 9yo is getting for bed, and Dennis Miller is telling Bill O'Reilly that the NBC Medical Chief needs to be fired because she was home on ebola quarantine and she left her apartment to go get soup.
My kid says, "That must be really good soup."
My kid says, "That must be really good soup."
"Be bold, and mighty forces will come to your aid."
Tonight while he is getting ready for bed I decide it is time for him to hear the story of The Human Centipede. I explain that it is a movie about a mad scientist who sews up 3 people mouth to butthole.
He immediately says, "Wow, if that ever happened to me I would really really really want to be the one in the front."
I said, "Son, that is the most intelligent thing I have ever heard you say."
He immediately says, "Wow, if that ever happened to me I would really really really want to be the one in the front."
I said, "Son, that is the most intelligent thing I have ever heard you say."
"Be bold, and mighty forces will come to your aid."
So dropped my kid off at Vacation Bible School at noon.
No, we don't have a religious household here in DTManor, but the cub scout events are held in the church community sections, and the pastor's kids are in scouts, and we are all friendly with his wife, so even the athiest, muslim, jewish, and pagan kids are welcome to the afternoon activities even if they don't want to attend the morning christian religious stuff and we are all part of the community and none of it is a big deal. Today's schedule post-noon was a spaghetti lunch followed by a guy from the Toledo Zoo out here to give a presentation on lizards and amphibians.
So we get there, and I am dropping off my son and niece for lunch, and another scout mom is there and we watch each others' kids so she knows to keep an eye on mine. I don't make it out of there before the pastor starts saying a prayer before lunch is served.
My son looks at me and whispers, "I immediately regret this decision."
No, we don't have a religious household here in DTManor, but the cub scout events are held in the church community sections, and the pastor's kids are in scouts, and we are all friendly with his wife, so even the athiest, muslim, jewish, and pagan kids are welcome to the afternoon activities even if they don't want to attend the morning christian religious stuff and we are all part of the community and none of it is a big deal. Today's schedule post-noon was a spaghetti lunch followed by a guy from the Toledo Zoo out here to give a presentation on lizards and amphibians.
So we get there, and I am dropping off my son and niece for lunch, and another scout mom is there and we watch each others' kids so she knows to keep an eye on mine. I don't make it out of there before the pastor starts saying a prayer before lunch is served.
My son looks at me and whispers, "I immediately regret this decision."
"Be bold, and mighty forces will come to your aid."