Dating in your 40s

[Leisher]

Wear a condom.

[Vince]

Why are you trying to kill the oceans!

[Leisher]

Source of the post Why are you trying to kill the oceans!

Actually, I'm trying to save the oceans. If more people wore condoms, we wouldn't have so many people we don't need. Thus, a lot less pollution.

[GORDON]

For the record, in my recent 5 weeks of child-free, post-divorce debauchery, none of the women were over 140 pounds .

The ones I slept with, that is. There were also a few who tricked me into meeting with the deceptive camera angles, but they didn't get past dinner.

Point being... There was no "hogging."

[Leisher]

Source of the post Point being... There was no "hogging."

But was there troll hunting? Did you date any women that live under bridges?

Also, under 140? Really? Did you weigh each one? Point being, I think your perception of that number might be off. I know women around or slightly above 140 who any of us would bang in a heartbeat. Muscle weighs more than fat...

[TheCatt]

Source of the post Muscle weighs more than fat...

this phrase always bugs me.

[GORDON]

Because they were petite. That's my taste.

I said NO to more "sure things" than women I actually slept with. Not desperate.

[Leisher]

Source of the post

Source of the post Muscle weighs more than fat...

this phrase always bugs me.

I've always hated "big boned".

Source of the post Because they were petite. That's my taste.

Also mine.

[TheCatt]

Source of the post

Source of the post

Source of the post Muscle weighs more than fat...

this phrase always bugs me.

I've always hated "big boned".

Lose a little more and we'll stop calling you that.

Source of the post

Source of the post Because they were petite. That's my taste.

Also mine.

And mine.

[GORDON]

I sort of remembered something... The one with the best body, we had nothing in common except boning, and nothing to talk about.

The one who was just barely acceptable, attractiveness-wise, was the one easiest to talk to. And then every shade in the middle, along those lines.

Which tells me.... My "the one" is really a unicorn, and doesn't exist. I bet a dollar that I die single and content.

[Leisher]

Source of the post Lose a little more and we'll stop calling you that.

That's not why you call me that...

Source of the post My "the one" is really a unicorn, and doesn't exist.

I don't believe this. I believe you have a unicorn out there, but in a world with just under 10 billion people, you're unlikely to meet.

[GORDON]

I'm thinking about the next Motor City Comicon, and going as a Tinder profile. My unicorn will be at Comicon, or she's not within 100 miles.

[Vince]

I bet a dollar that I die single and content.

I'd bet you're half right

[GORDON]

Nope. Both. I'm already there, basically.

[TheCatt]

Source of the post The one with the best body, we had nothing in common except boning, and nothing to talk about.

[TheCatt]

Gordon, tell your kid you need to keep banging to prevent senility.

[TheCatt]

[GORDON]

Yeah , that phrase has been a red flag, for me. Suggests bi polarity.

[GORDON]

Source of the post Gordon, tell your kid you need to keep banging to prevent senility.

The real challenge is to remember the timing of the divorce, the number of children they have, which conversations you've had, and other relevant information for four different women at once.that you've only recently met.

I've slipped a couple times.

[TheCatt]

Source of the post The real challenge is to remember the timing of the divorce, the number of children they have, which conversations you've had, and other relevant information for four different women at once.that you've only recently met.

That's why I call everyone "babe" instead of their real names.