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Topic: UnkBill jokes.< Next Oldest | Next Newest >
 Post Number: 21
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PostIcon Posted on: May 09 2007,14:07  Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE

Story with a Moral

Story with a Moral            

 In 1923, Who Was:

1.  President of the largest steel company?

2. President of the largest  gas company?

3. President of the New York Stock Exchange?

4. Greatest wheat speculator?

5. President of the Bank of International Settlement?

6. Great Bear of Wall Street?      

These men were considered some of the worlds most successful of their days.      

Now, 80 years later, the history book asks us, if we know what ultimately became of them.      

The Answers:

1.  The president of the largest steel company. Charles Schwab, died a pauper.

2. The president of the largest gas company, Edward Hopson, went insane.

3. The president of the NYSE, Richard Whitney, was released from prison to die at home.

4.  The greatest wheat speculator, Arthur Cooger, died abroad, penniless.

5.  The president of the Bank of International Settlement, shot himself.

6. The Great Bear of Wall Street, Cosabee Livermore, also committed suicide.      

However: in  that same year, 1923, the PGA Champion and the winner of the most important golf tournament,  the US Open, was Gene Sarazen.
What became of him?

He played golf until he was 92, died in 1999 at the age of 95. He was financially secure at the time of his death.

The Moral:
Heck with  work.     Play golf.


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PostIcon Posted on: May 11 2007,05:18 Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE

Bono, the lead singer of the band U2 is famous throughout the entertainment industry for being more than just a little self-righteous.
He is playing a U2 concert in Roundhay Park, Leeds, England when he asks the audience for total quiet.
Then in the silence, he starts to slowly clap his hands, once every few seconds.
Holding the audience in total silence, he says into the microphone, "Every time I clap my hands, a child in Africa dies."
A voice with a broad Yorkshire accent (probably originating from Bradford!) from near the front of the crowd, pierces the silence. "Well, fookin stop doin it then!"
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PostIcon Posted on: May 11 2007,16:47 Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE

Recent Late Night jokes…



"The Washington, D.C., madam has threatened to release more names of Washington politicians who were her customers. She says another member of the White House will be named very soon. This proves once again that members of the Bush administration don't know when it's time to pull out." --Jay Leno

"Politicians were paying hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of dollars for sex. And I thought ... that's better than spending that kind of money on a haircut." --David Letterman

"President Bush taped a message for American Idol last night. Bush opposes the plan to pull two contestants out. He says it could cause chaos in the region and actually prefers sending more contestants in." --Jimmy Kimmel

"According to the New York Post, Hillary Clinton used three private jets in a single day in a campaign swing through South Carolina. And today, she was officially named a Hollywood environmentalist." --Jay Leno

"President Bush vetoed the Iraq troop withdrawal bill. He said it would turn the country into a cauldron of chaos. And you hate to see Iraq become unstable." --David Letterman

"Last night eight Democratic presidential candidates squared off in the first presidential debate. Did anybody watch it? Nobody watched it. We need to make it like American Idol. Each week we vote another one off." --Jay Leno

"John Edwards apologized for his $400 haircut. He said it was a mistake ... especially in the back, where they didn't feather enough." --Jay Leno

"The first Democratic presidential debate was held earlier tonight. Big event. It featured Senator Hillary Clinton facing off against seven men. Or, as Bill Clinton calls it, the worst porn movie plot ever." --Conan O'Brien


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PostIcon Posted on: May 12 2007,08:00 Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE

The madam opened the brothel door to see a rather dignified, well-dressed good looking man in his late 40s or early 50s.
 "May I help you?" she asked.

"I want to see Valerie," the man replied.

 "Sir, Valerie is one of our most expensive ladies. Perhaps you would prefer someone else," said the madam.

"No. I must see Valerie," was the man's reply.

 Just then, Valerie appeared and announced to the man that she charged $1,000 a visit. Without hesitation, the man pulled out ten one-hundred dollar bills, gave them to Valerie, and they went upstairs.

 After an hour, the man calmly left.

The next night, the same man appeared again, demanding to see Valerie.

 Valerie explained that none had ever come back two nights in a row--too expensive--and there were no discounts. The price was still $1,000.

Again the man pulled ou t the money, gave it to Valerie and they went upstairs.
 After an hour, he left.

The following night the man was there again. Everyone was astounded that he had come for the third consecutive night, but he paid Valerie and they went upstairs.

 After their session, Valerie questioned the man. "No one has ever been with me three nights in a row. Where are you from?" she asked.

 The man replied,  "Chapel Hill,  Nouth Carolina." "Really" she said. "I have
family in Chapel Hill, Nouth Carolina ."

 "I know," the man said. "Your father died, and I am your sister's attorney. She asked me to give you your $3,000 inheritance."

 The moral of the story is that there are three things in life that are certain:
 1. Death 2. Taxes 3. Being screwed by a lawyer


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PostIcon Posted on: May 13 2007,16:11 Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE

INTERESTING CHAIN OF EVENTS

A Kansas farm wife called the local phone company to report her telephone failed to ring when her friends called - and that on the few occasions, when it did ring, her dog always moaned right before the phone rang.

The telephone repairman proceeded to the scene, curious to see this psychic dog or senile lady. He climbed a telephone pole, hooked in his test set, and dialed the subscriber's house. The phone didn't ring right away, but then the dog moaned and the telephone began to ring.

Climbing down from the pole, the telephone repairman found:

1: The dog was tied to the telephone system's ground wire with a steel chain and collar.

2. The wire connection to th e ground rod was loose.

3. The dog was receiving 90 volts of signaling current when the number was called.

4. After a couple of jolts, the dog would start moaning and then urinate.

5. The wet ground would complete the circuit, thus causing the phone to ring. Which demonstrates that some problems CAN be fixed by pissing and moaning.

Thought you'd like to know.


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PostIcon Posted on: May 21 2007,04:11 Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE

HOW  TO SAVE THE AIRLINES

Dump  the male flight attendants. No one wanted them in the first place.   Replace all the female flight attendants with good-looking strippers!  What the hell -- They don't even serve food anymore, so what's the loss?  

The  strippers would at least triple the alcohol sales and get a "party   atmosphere" going in the cabin. And, of course, every businessman in  this country would start flying again, hoping to see naked women.

Because  of the tips, female flight attendants wouldn't need a salary, thus   saving even more money. I suspect tips would be so good that we could  charge the women for working the plane and have them kick back 20% of the tips, including lap dances and "special services."  

This is definitely a win-win situation if we  handle it right -- a golden opportunity to turn a liability into an  asset.

Why  didn't Bush think of this? Why do I still have to do everything  myself?

Sincerely,
Bill  Clinton


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PostIcon Posted on: May 29 2007,05:50 Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE

One guy had an interesting experience recently involving an "older" woman he met at a bar.

The woman looked pretty darn HOT for 57. She was drinking quite a bit, and while they were chatting, she came right out and asked him if he'd ever had a "sportsman's double" - a mother and daughter threesome.

He said no, but she might be able to talk him into it.

So she slams back one last drink, wipes her mouth, and looking directly into his eyes, she tells him, "Tonight's your lucky night."

So they go back to her place, she clicks on the hall light right as they enter, and she shouts upstairs, "Mom! You still awake?"


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PostIcon Posted on: May 29 2007,16:51 Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE

Fall Classes for Men at
THE
ADULT LEARNING CENTER

REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED
by Monday, Aug 30, 2007

NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL
OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.


Class 1
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays--Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM .
Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll--Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.
Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?--Group Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.  
Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.
Class 5
Dinner Dishes--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning
at 7:00 PM
Class 6
Loss Of Identity--Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM  
Class 7
Learning How To Find Things--Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum.
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.
Class 8
Health Watch--Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.
Graphics and Audio Tapes.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 9
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost--Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.
Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon , 2 hours.
Class 11
Learning to Live--Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and role-playing.
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM , location to be determined
Class 12
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM .
Class 13
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy--Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 14
The Stove/Oven--What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.
Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.


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PostIcon Posted on: May 30 2007,17:01 Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE

Three ladies all worked in the same office with the same female boss. Each day, they noticed the boss left work early.
One day, the ladies decided that, when the boss left, they would leave right behind her.  After all, she never called or came back to work, so how would she know they went home early?
The brunette was thrilled to be home early. She did a little gardening, spent playtime with her son, and went to bed early.  
The redhead was elated to be able to get in a quick workout at the spa before meeting a dinner date.
The blonde was happy to get home early and surprise her husband, but
when she got to her bedroom, she heard a muffled noise from inside. Slowly and quietly, she cracked open the door and was mortified to see her husband in bed with her boss! Gently she closed the door and crept out of her house
The next day, at their coffee break, the brunette and redhead planned to leave early again, and they asked the blonde if she was going to go with them.

"No way," the blonde exclaimed. "I almost got caught yesterday!


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PostIcon Posted on: Jun. 05 2007,16:22 Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE

MALE SENSITIVITY TEST


1. In the company of females, intercourse should be referred to as:
A. Lovemaking.
B. Screwing.
C. Taking the pigskin bus to tuna town.

2. You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you've both shared:
A. Your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship.
B. Your blood-test results.
C. Five tequila slammers.

3. You carefully pace yourself to time your orgasm so that:
A. Your partner climaxes first.
B. You both climax simultaneously.
C. You don't miss ESPN Sports Center.

4. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:
A. Healthy, creative love-play.
B. Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend would agree to.
C. Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend needs to ever find out about.

5. Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you've just had sex with is:
A. The very best part of the experience.
B. The second best part of the experience.
C. $100 extra.

6. Your wife/girlfriend says she's gained five pounds in the last month. You tell her that it is:
A. Of no consequence to how you love her and your affectionate feelings for her.
B. Not a problem, she can join your gym if she'd like to.
C. A very conservative estimate.

7. You think today's sensitive, caring man is:
A. An important model to strive for.
B. A myth or an oxymoron.
C. A moron.

8. Foreplay is to sex as:
A. An appetizer is to entree.
B. Primer is to paint.
C. A long line is to an amusement park ride.

9. Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself saying at the end of a relationship?
A. "This time together has been meaningful for me. I hope we can still be friends."
B. "I'm not in right now, please leave a message at the beep."
C. "Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: YOU."

10. A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate:
A. Probably needs a little more time, understanding, and gentle encouragement before she can cope with that sort of intimacy.
B. Is uptight and a waste of time.
C. Shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the first place.

Evaluating Results:

* If you answered "A" more than 7 times, check inside your pants to be sure you ARE a man.

* If you answered "B" more than 7 times, check into therapy.

* If you answered "C" more than 7 times, YOU DA MAN!


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PostIcon Posted on: Jun. 06 2007,04:10 Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE

Subject: u'r from MI

You know you live in Michigan if...

1. You've never met any celebrities.

2. "Vacation" means going to Cedar Point.

3. At least 1 member of your family disowns you the week of the Michigan/Michigan State game.

4. Half the change in your pocket is Canadian ... eh!

5. You drive 86 mph on the highway and pass on the right.

6. Your idea of a traffic jam is 40 cars waiting to pass an orange barrel.

7. You know how to play (and pronounce) Euchre.

8. It's easy to get VERNORS Ginger Ale, Sanders Hot Fudge sauce and Faygo Pop.

9. You know how to pronounce "Mackinac."

10. You've had to switch on the "heat" and the "A/C" in the same day.

11. You bake with SODA and drink a POP.

12. The movie "Escanaba in Da Moonlight" wasn't funny. You consider it a documentary.

13. Your little league game was snowed out.

14. The word "thumb" has geographical, rather than anatomical significance.

15. You show people where you grew up by pointing to a spot on your left hand.

16. Traveling coast-to-coast means driving from Port Huron to Muskegon.

17. You measure distance in minutes.

18. When giving directions, you refer to "A Michigan Left."

19. You know that Kalamazoo not only exists, but isn't that far from Hell.

20. Your year has 2 seasons: Winter and Construction.

21. Home Depot on any Saturday is busier than toy stores at Christmas.

22. You know when it has rained because of the smell of worms.

23. Owning a Japanese car was a hangin' offense in your hometown.

24. You believe that "down south" means Toledo.

25. YOU ACTUALLY "GET" THESE JOKES AND FORWARD THEM ON TO ALL YOUR MICHIGAN FRIENDS AND FAMILY


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PostIcon Posted on: Jun. 07 2007,06:08 Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE

Bob's Surgery  
 Bob can't get an erection so he goes to the doctor.
The doctor tells him the muscles at the base of his penis are broken down and there's nothing he can do unless he's willing to try an experimental surgery.  
Bob asks what the surgery is and the doctor tells him they take some muscles from the base of a baby elephant's trunk, insert them in the base of his penis, and hope for the best.
Bob says that sounds pretty scary but the thought of never having sex again is even scarier, so he says ok.  
The doctor goes ahead and performs the surgery and about 6 weeks later he gives Bob the go ahead to "try out his new equipment".
Bob takes his wife out to dinner. While at dinner Bob starts feeling incredible pressure in his pants.
It gets unbearable and he figures no one can see him so he undoes his pants.
No sooner does he do this than his penis pops out of his pants, rolls across the table, grabs an apple from the fruit basket, and disappears back into his pants.
His wife sits in shock for a few moments, and then gets a sly look on her face. She says, "That was pretty cool! Can you do that again?"
With his eyes watering and a painful look on his face, Bob says,
"Probably, but I don't know if I can fit another apple up my ass."


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PostIcon Posted on: Jun. 08 2007,06:13 Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE

At a U2 concert in Ireland , Bono (the lead singer) asks the audience to be quiet. Then he starts to slowly clap his hands.
Holding the audience in total silence, he says into the microphone....  
"I want you to think about something. Every time I clap my hands, a child in Africa dies."
A voice from the front of the audience yells out...."Then fookin stop clapping, ya asshole!"

Gotta Love the Irish.


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PostIcon Posted on: Jun. 11 2007,06:27 Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE

A husband and wife are sitting quietly in bed reading when the wife looks over at him and asks the question....
WIFE: "What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?"
HUSBAND: "Definitely not!"
WIFE: "Why not? Don't you like being married?"
HUSBAND: "Of course I do."
WIFE: "Then why wouldn't you remarry?"
HUSBAND: "Okay, okay, I'd get married again."
WIFE: "You would?" (with a hurt look)
HUSBAND: (makes audible groan)
WIFE: "Would you live in our house?"
HUSBAND: "Sure, it's a great house."
WIFE: "Would you sleep with her in our bed?"
HUSBAND: "Where else would we sleep?"
WIFE: "Would you let her drive my car?"
HUSBAND: "Probably, it is almost new."
WIFE: "Would you replace my pictures with hers?"
HUSBAND: "That would seem like the proper thing to do."
WIFE: "Would you give her my jewelry?"
HUSBAND: "No, I'm sure she'd want her own."
WIFE: "Would you take her golfing with you?
HUSBAND: "Yes, those are always good times."
WIFE: "Would she use my clubs?
HUSBAND: "No, she's left-handed."

WIFE: -- silence –

HUSBAND: "shit."


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PostIcon Posted on: Jun. 12 2007,06:03 Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE

You might not have known this, but a lot of non-living objects are actually either male or female. Here are some examples:

FREEZER BAGS: They are male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.

PHOTOCOPIERS: These are female, because once turned off; it takes a while to warm them up again. They are an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can also wreak havoc if you push the wrong buttons.

TIRES: Tires are male, because they go bald easily and are often over inflated.

HOT AIR BALLOONS: Also a male object, because to get them to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under their butt.

SPONGES: These are female, because they are soft, squeezable and retain water.

WEB PAGES: Female, because they're constantly being looked at and frequently getting hit on.

TRAINS: Definitely male, because they always use the same old lines for picking up people.

EGG TIMERS: Egg timers are female because, over time, all the weight shifts to the bottom.

HAMMERS: Male, because in the last 5000 years, they've hardly changed at all, and are occasionally handy to have around.

THE REMOTE CONTROL: Female. Ha! You probably thought it would be male, but consider this: It easily gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know which buttons to push, he just keeps trying.


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PostIcon Posted on: Jun. 15 2007,06:52 Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE

When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were when they were growing up; what with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning ...uphill BOTH ways .. yadda yadda yadda
And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it!
But now that... I'm over the ripe old age of thirty, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today. You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a damn Utopia!
And I hate to say it but you kids today you don't know how good you've got it I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have The Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the damn library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalog!!
There was no email! ! We had to actually write somebody a letter ...with a pen! Then you had to walk all the way across the street and it in the mailbox and it would take like a week to get there!
There were no MP3's, Napsters! You wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the damn record store and shoplift it yourself! Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio and the DJ'd usually talk over the beginning and @#*% it all up! We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called they got a busy signal, that'<SPAN id="">s</SPAN> it! And we didn't
have fancy Caller ID Boxes either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school, your mom, your boss, your bookie, your drug dealer, collections agent, you just didn't know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!
We didn't have any fancy Sony,Playstation video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atarià 2600! With games like "Space Invaders" and "asteroids" and the graphics sucked! Your guy was little square! You actually had to use your imagination! And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen forever! And you could never win. The game just kept getting harder
and harder and faster and faster until you died! Just like LIFE!
When you went to the movie theater there no such thing as stadium seating! All the seats were the same height! If a tall guy or some old broad with a hat sat in front of you and you couldn't see, you were just screwed!
Sure, we had cable television, but back then that was only like 15 channels and there was no onscreen menu and no remote control! You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on! You were screwed when it came to channel surfing! You had to get off your ass and walk over to the TV to change the channel and there was no Cartoon Network either!
You could only get cartoons on Saturday Morning. Do you hear what I'm saying!?! We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled little bastards!
And we didn't have microwaves, if we wanted to heat something up we had to use the stove or go build a fire ... imagine that! If we wanted popcorn, we had to use that stupid Jiffy Pop thing and shake it over the stove forever like an idiot.
That' is exactly what I'm talking about!
You kids today have got it too easy. You're spoiled!!!!!!!!!
You guys wouldn't have lasted five minutes back in 1980!

Regards, The over 30 Crowd


Edited by unkbill on Jun. 15 2007,06:53

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In marriage there is always one person right. And the other one is the husband.
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TPRJones Search for posts by this member.
I saw The Fault in our Stars opening night.
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PostIcon Posted on: Jun. 15 2007,07:18 Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE

I'm 36, and when I was 10 I was sending email and using the internet (at the time called BBSes and ARPANET and usenet) and playing some pretty darn good games on my C64.

Better change that to "Regards, The over 40 Crowd"


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Vidi Perfutui Veni
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PostIcon Posted on: Jun. 15 2007,07:29 Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE

My daughter (4) doesn't understand that you can't pause or rewind every TV, or pull up various episodes of Dora the Explorer.

Of course, I keep finding myself trying to rewind radio.  There's needs to be a Tivo for radio!


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"All hail Paul."  -Unk
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PostIcon Posted on: Jun. 15 2007,07:50 Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE


(TPRJones @ Jun. 15 2007,07:18)
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I'm 36, and when I was 10 I was sending email and using the internet (at the time called BBSes and ARPANET and usenet) and playing some pretty darn good games on my C64.

Better change that to "Regards, The over 40 Crowd"

Your rigth. But you have to remember I'm 46 and from the stone-age. I didn't have my first computer on-line til 9 years ago. And that did nothing for me but get me married 7 years ago. The internet is a dangerous place.

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In marriage there is always one person right. And the other one is the husband.
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unkbill Search for posts by this member.
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PostIcon Posted on: Jun. 20 2007,05:54 Skip to the previous post in this topic.  Ignore posts   QUOTE

Today is International Disturbed People's Day
Please send an encouraging message to a disturbed friend... just as I've done.
 
I don't care if you lick windows, take the special bus or occasionally PEE yourself...
you hang in there Sunshine, you're frigging special.


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In marriage there is always one person right. And the other one is the husband.
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