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Malcolm 
I disagree.
Group: Privateers
Posts: 27168
Joined: May 2004
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Posted on: Jan. 02 2016,20:37 |
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Synopsis:
Vikings land in Scotland and find excuses to swing swords and axes.
Review:
Sometimes the plot gets in the fucking way. Â This movie is one fine example. Â It does, however, promise what it delivers. Â Fucking Vikings fucking killing various people of the British Isles. Â Consider them to be the Medieval Expendables with an A-Team motive.
The titular band has been exiled from their homeland for some fucking reason no one cares about and has to buy back into society. Â After surviving a shitty voyage across the sea, they scale a sheer fucking cliff and start killing the natives like bad-ass conquering Scandinavians. Â One dude gets away to warn his king the Vikes have just decimated his daughter's escort, are probably gang-raping her as they speak, and she's going to be late for her political marriage. Â By some very convoluted logic, the mercs comprising his elite troops convince him the princess needs to die if she can't be rescued. Â This sets off a chain of events leading to the eventual showdown between the mercs and the Vikings along with their Christian Pict monk-ninja sidekick.
This is a classic action movie that gave me vibes of Conan and Predator in a few scenes.
Verdict:
Solid. You've seen way worse films.
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Diogenes of Sinope:
"It is not that I am mad, it is only that my head is different from yours."
"Other dogs bite only their enemies, whereas I bite also my friends in order to save them."
Arnold Judas Rimmer, BSC, SSC:
"Better dead than smeg."
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