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thibodeaux 
RAG
Group: Privateers
Posts: 6494
Joined: May 2004
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Posted on: Jun. 19 2014,14:25 |
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At work, they gave me an intern. He's a rising junior in college. But omg he is a total DORK. A tool. A chode. I don't even know. And it's not even really that he's bad, he's just grating on me.
How do I fix him? I'm his mentor, I'm supposed to fix him, right?
A couple of specific behaviors:
1. Repeats dorky cs-student tropes. When his code is compiling, he says "I twiddle my thumbs back and forth." Or he says "copy-pasta." Jeez.
2. He comes into my office and just sits down at my desk with his laptop and starts coding. And doesn't leave. I'm new to having an office so I'm not sure how to deal with this. I guess I'm gonna have to start closing my door.
3. He belches! Like, he's right next to me at my desk and he's belching. Not a loud, just chugged a beer, bro-belch. Like an I've got gas and I'm trying to hide it belch.
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| Post Number: 2
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GORDON
90%
Group: Super Administrators
Posts: 36125
Joined: Jun. 2004
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Posted on: Jun. 19 2014,14:54 |
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"Copy pasta" has always annoyed me. Sever his internship and call whoever you have to at the college to make sure he is kicked out.
Everything else sounds like you need to be the parent he never had. Tell him to cut that shit out. See how he deals with authority... that's part of being a student.
But the copy pasta thing... destroy him.
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I don't give a fuck!
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| Post Number: 3
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Malcolm
I disagree.
Group: Privateers
Posts: 27168
Joined: May 2004
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Posted on: Jun. 19 2014,15:36 |
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Eh ... we got a couple interns/slaves on my team right now. Â With contractors, we'd pretty much pretend we were buying their illusion, but we'd shred them behind their backs because we knew they weren't going to stick around long. Â Also, I've encountered these types in school when I've been a student, TA, and professor. Â Those times, I reminded myself I wasn't in charge of them and I'm not supposed to solicit advice, so they can derail their lives all they want.
I'm going to assume the following about him:
1) He hangs out exclusively with people like himself.
2) He is goddamned near surgically attached to a keyboard during all waking hours.
3) I'll bet only child.
4) Gotten laid only on account of accident, pity, someone else losing a bet, or money exchanging hands.
QUOTE I'm his mentor, I'm supposed to fix him, right?
No. Â You're supposed to explain to him how to get a job and stay gainfully employed in his chosen industry. Â If you want to go with your line of thought, you ought to be making him aware of the means to fix himself, and encourage him to use them. Â Give a dude a fish and all that.
QUOTE 1. Repeats dorky cs-student tropes. When his code is compiling, he says "I twiddle my thumbs back and forth." Or he says "copy-pasta." Jeez.
Sounds like you have an extravert on your hands. Â Impressionable, too, so the more time he spends around people, the more he tends to pick up habits from them he figures he needs or wants -- kind of like a sponge. Â Problem is he's talking to himself to fill the time and it's killing your ear drums and brain. Â There's a word for people who talk to themselves; they're called crazy. Â Explain that it: a) is distracting to everyone within earshot who isn't protecting themselves with headphones and b) makes you look like someone you'd dread working with on a team. Â Uncomfortable silence beats uncomfortable words almost every time. Â Same goes for #3 on your list with the added warning of "it's fucking goddamn common sense." Â I would quote me. Â There aren't a lot of places that will take techie prowess over the ability to work with others. Â If you look like someone others don't want to work with, then your job will become unpleasant if you somehow even manage to get past the HR interview.
If you have time to vocalize whatever mindless drivel is floating through your head, you've got time to multi-task. Â Keep him busy. Â If he's a mildly competent programmer, you should have plenty of dink work to keep him busy.
As for #2, tell him where his workstation is and that he should note the "work" part of the word. Â Unless you want him hovering around you or he's got a question or some shit, he should be sitting where he's expected to be found.
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Diogenes of Sinope:
"It is not that I am mad, it is only that my head is different from yours."
"Other dogs bite only their enemies, whereas I bite also my friends in order to save them."
Arnold Judas Rimmer, BSC, SSC:
"Better dead than smeg."
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| Post Number: 4
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thibodeaux
RAG
Group: Privateers
Posts: 6494
Joined: May 2004
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Posted on: Jun. 19 2014,15:47 |
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I think he might have Aspergers.
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| Post Number: 5
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GORDON
90%
Group: Super Administrators
Posts: 36125
Joined: Jun. 2004
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Posted on: Jun. 19 2014,16:07 |
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Tell him to leave that shit at home or you will destroy him.
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I don't give a fuck!
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| Post Number: 6
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TheCatt
Top 2%
Group: Super Administrators
Posts: 22951
Joined: May 2004
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Posted on: Jun. 19 2014,17:06 |
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#3 Does he drink a lot of soda?
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It's not me, it's someone else.
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| Post Number: 7
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thibodeaux
RAG
Group: Privateers
Posts: 6494
Joined: May 2004
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Posted on: Jun. 19 2014,17:14 |
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Not that I've seen.
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TheCatt
Top 2%
Group: Super Administrators
Posts: 22951
Joined: May 2004
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Posted on: Jun. 19 2014,17:32 |
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Maybe you should work out less. Then he'd not want to be so close to you.
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It's not me, it's someone else.
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| Post Number: 9
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GORDON
90%
Group: Super Administrators
Posts: 36125
Joined: Jun. 2004
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Posted on: Jun. 19 2014,17:59 |
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"I used to rape guys like you in prison."
Edited by GORDON on Jun. 19 2014,18:00
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I don't give a fuck!
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| Post Number: 10
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| Post Number: 11
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GORDON
90%
Group: Super Administrators
Posts: 36125
Joined: Jun. 2004
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Posted on: Jun. 19 2014,20:21 |
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"I've got little chunks of guys like you in my shit."
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I don't give a fuck!
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| Post Number: 12
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| Post Number: 13
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GORDON
90%
Group: Super Administrators
Posts: 36125
Joined: Jun. 2004
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Posted on: Jun. 19 2014,20:28 |
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"I blow a hole in your face and then I go home. And then I sleep like a baby. You can count on that. We used to stack fucks like you five feet high in Korea. Used you for sandbags."
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I don't give a fuck!
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| Post Number: 14
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Malcolm
I disagree.
Group: Privateers
Posts: 27168
Joined: May 2004
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Posted on: Jun. 19 2014,20:31 |
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You wish you were Clint.
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Diogenes of Sinope:
"It is not that I am mad, it is only that my head is different from yours."
"Other dogs bite only their enemies, whereas I bite also my friends in order to save them."
Arnold Judas Rimmer, BSC, SSC:
"Better dead than smeg."
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| Post Number: 15
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GORDON
90%
Group: Super Administrators
Posts: 36125
Joined: Jun. 2004
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Posted on: Jun. 19 2014,20:33 |
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"You burp in my presence one more time I will by God put an end to you here and now, you son of a buttfucked whore."
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I don't give a fuck!
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| Post Number: 16
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| Post Number: 17
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GORDON
90%
Group: Super Administrators
Posts: 36125
Joined: Jun. 2004
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Posted on: Jun. 19 2014,20:36 |
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"Newbie, if you don't listen to me and stop burping...you'll disappoint me".
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I don't give a fuck!
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| Post Number: 18
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GORDON
90%
Group: Super Administrators
Posts: 36125
Joined: Jun. 2004
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Posted on: Jun. 19 2014,21:53 |
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"Well, I don't need to kill you, newbie. I mean, you could accidentally hurt yourself falling down on something real hard, you know? Like a shiv, or my dick?"
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I don't give a fuck!
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| Post Number: 19
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GORDON
90%
Group: Super Administrators
Posts: 36125
Joined: Jun. 2004
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Posted on: Jun. 19 2014,21:57 |
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"Come not into my presence with thine regurgitations! Or I will not slay thee in thy turn. I will bear thee away to the houses of lamentation, beyond all darkness, where thy flesh shall be devoured, and thy shriveled mind be left naked to the Lidless Eye."
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I don't give a fuck!
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| Post Number: 20
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