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Forum: General Stuff Topic: General TSA thread started by: GORDON Posted by GORDON on Jan. 31 2014,06:09
Former groper describes his 4 years on the job.< http://www.politico.com/magazin....6rQz0qg > Posted by Malcolm on Jan. 31 2014,12:19
Will be making my first non-holiday flight in a bit. Wonder if shit's different.
Posted by Malcolm on Feb. 20 2014,10:39
TSA < still > functionally retarded.QUOTE The Homeland Security Department has warned airlines that terrorists could try to hide explosives in shoes. It's the second time in less than three weeks that the government has issued a warning about possible attempts to smuggle explosives on a commercial jetliner. A warning about a possible attempt? That's some concrete shit right there. QUOTE The official said "something caused DHS concern, but it's a very low threshold to trigger a warning like this." The official spoke on condition of anonymity because he was not authorized to discuss the issue publicly. But don't worry, you can always pay to avoid this annoyance. QUOTE The security agency has also launched a fee-based program that allows willing flyers to submit to background checks and avoid having to remove their shoes, jackets and small amounts of liquids packed in carry-on luggage.
Posted by TheCatt on Feb. 20 2014,11:19
But terrorists cannot pay, right?
Posted by Malcolm on Feb. 20 2014,11:27
(TheCatt @ Feb. 20 2014,13:19) QUOTE But terrorists cannot pay, right? I'm sure there's no way they'll fool our < bulletproof background checking system >. Posted by Malcolm on Nov. 26 2014,17:33
Another trip to the airport, another dream of pissing on dubyuh's grave for the tsa.
Posted by GORDON on Jan. 05 2015,06:03
CURSE THE BRILLIANT TSABest send up yet. < http://www.powerlineblog.com/archive....tsa.php > Posted by Paul on Jan. 05 2015,20:40
I went to Hawaii after Christmas and flew back Saturday.I had no trouble with the TSA because I had my daughter with me. Kids under 12 and their chaperons don't have to go through the body scanner, we only had to go through the metal detector. On the way back we had to sit in the plane for awhile because Air Force One was taking the President back and they had to clear the runways until he left. Posted by Malcolm on Jan. 06 2015,07:45
QUOTE Kids under 12 and their chaperons don't have to go through the body scanner, we only had to go through the metal detector. If I could rent one just long enough to make it through security, I'd pay. Posted by Malcolm on Jan. 21 2015,10:48
< Supreme Court > rules TSA can't legally fuck former air marshal in the ass.QUOTE MacLean contends that just after being briefed in 2003 about a potential terrorist attack, he received another TSA message: Because of a budget shortfall, the agency was cutting back on the number of flights marshals could cover. MacLean said he went to his boss, who told him to keep quiet, and to the department’s inspector general. Stymied, he leaked the information to a reporter for MSNBC. His identity was discovered years later, and he was fired for disclosing what is known as “sensitive security information,” or SSI. Another reason to fuck the TSA. Posted by Malcolm on Feb. 10 2015,10:13
< TSA foiled > again by elderly woman. They totally deserve that funding they're asking for.
Posted by Malcolm on Apr. 01 2015,10:10
< How the TSA spots > "threats."QUOTE A new list says "excessive yawning," "whistling" and "too much laughter" could get you into trouble with airport security agents. Those gestures, along with "disguises," "face pale from recent shaving of beard," "excessive throat clearing" and "gazing down," all came out in a SPOT (Screening of Passengers by Observation Techniques) referral report. Sources tell ABC News that the report is a "closely held" Transportation Security Administration document which describes the behavior officers look for when observing suspicious travelers and possible terrorists. This organization is my primary example of why the federal gov't is a fucking joke and I refuse to participate in its elections anymore. I haven't heard anyone in Washington say it should be defunded and disbanded. Posted by Malcolm on Jun. 02 2015,10:20
< TSA passes 95% > of airport security tests. Oh, wait a second. I meant FAILED.QUOTE Officials briefed on the Homeland Security Inspector General's investigation told the station that the TSA failed 67 out of 70 tests conducted by the department's Red Teams -- undercover passengers tasked with identifying weaknesses in the screening process, NJ.com reports. 5%. QUOTE "The numbers in these reports never look good out of context, but they are a critical element in the continual evolution of our aviation security," CONTEXT? What fucking context is there? QUOTE "Sure, it’s great to share the things that our officers are finding, but at the same time, each time we find a dangerous item, the line is slowed down and a passenger that likely had no ill intent ends up with a citation or in some cases is even arrested." Jesus fuck. I don't even know what I can add to that statement to make it more damning. Here's the < new boss >. I'd like to preemptively say, "Fuck you, Peter. If you had any integrity whatsoever, you'd decline the nomination." Posted by Malcolm on Jun. 06 2015,09:56
Write this shit down and circle your calendar, then frame that mofo.< TSA employee genuinely > saves a life. Granted, it has nothing to do with airport security or anything even close to what his job's about. Posted by Malcolm on Jun. 08 2015,12:08
< TSA misses 73 > airport workers "linked to terrorism."QUOTE According to the report, the TSA had been unable to find 73 individuals "linked to terrorism" because the information the TSA received from the Department of Homeland Security Watchlist Service and used for vetting did not contain the terrorism "codes" associated with the 73 individuals. In other words, TSA did not have the entire terror watchlist. Funny, I see to remember the DHS being created specifically to tie together all the other intel organizations in the country. Can they do any-fucking-thing right? Posted by GORDON on Jun. 08 2015,12:28
They can create a massive jobs program for people unqualified for most other things right when the economy is tanking.Since you asked. Posted by Malcolm on Jun. 08 2015,13:29
(GORDON @ Jun. 08 2015,14:28) QUOTE They can create a massive jobs program for people unqualified for most other things right when the economy is tanking. Since you asked. Can we call it what it is? The Short Bus job agency? Posted by GORDON on Jun. 08 2015,13:39
Highly paid, and unionized, too.
Posted by TheCatt on Jun. 09 2015,04:45
I flew to San Jose yesterday. The TSA portion was very unremarkable.
Posted by Leisher on Jun. 09 2015,05:47
As you know, I've been flying a lot lately, and I've noticed that most of the TSA agents no longer act like Nazis. I've only encountered one person who looked at everyone like they're terrorists. Their lines have also improved tremendously. Instead of standing for hours as they slowly went through their process, getting through security takes about as long as it did pre-9/11.Are they effective? No. Are they overpaid people too underqualified to do other jobs? Yes But at least they're improving their attitude and not wasting as much of my time. Posted by GORDON on Jun. 09 2015,06:07
Still removing shoes and belts? Are the naked scanners still in effect? Serious questions, I haven't flown since forever.
Posted by Leisher on Jun. 09 2015,06:22
Belts and shoes, yes. However, everyone with a brain knows it and they zoom right through. The scanners aren't what they were. All airports have them now, and they're all but unavoidable, but I think the photo part has been removed. Now you can see the image come up, and it's a cartoon person where any area in question gets highlighted and they pat you down there. The pat down folks, in particular, are really nice. They crack jokes and call you sir. Much different from what they used to do. Posted by GORDON on Jun. 09 2015,06:31
Being touched, scanned, and forced to remove shoes (which, because of my fucked up legs, I can't do while balancing on one foot, and they don't provide chairs at that point in the line, so fuck you, cripple).... all of that still sounds incredibly invasive, to me. Maybe if they'd actually ever caught a terrorist I'd have a different opinion, but they haven't.... billions of patdowns for zero return.No flying for me any time soon. I wont financially support it by paying for a ticket. Posted by Leisher on Jun. 09 2015,07:08
Actually, I think they do provide lanes or areas for folks who aren't as nimble. The customer service aspect has improved tremendously, although I agree that their overall results still suck. Posted by GORDON on Jun. 09 2015,07:11
Do you fly out of Detroit, by chance? I was usually flying out of there before I stopped, and they were the rudest of any other airport I had to go through. Straight-up ghetto attitudes.
Posted by Leisher on Jun. 09 2015,07:22
It's Detroit, what do you expect? Actually, I have found that if you don't mind catching a connecting flight in Chicago, it's cheaper to fly out of Toledo. Round trip Detroit to Charlotte $800+ Round trip Toledo to Charlotte with 1 stop in Chicago $550 and that's including a first class bump on my return trip. It would have been $300 if I had taken their suggested return flight leaving at 5:15 a.m. (I did not...) Detroit will have more times when flights are leaving, but unless you have ridiculously rigid travel time or date requirements, Toledo is usually a better option. Posted by TheCatt on Jun. 09 2015,07:28
My experience was the same as Leisher's.As for the lane, yes, they provide a non-scanner lane for people (children, elderly, not as nimble, etc), at least at RDU. I typically wear shorts with a bult-in belt. Did not get grief for it this time. I did get my leg patted down for reasons unknown, but fortunately, I was hanging to the other side. Posted by Malcolm on Jun. 09 2015,07:34
QUOTE Are they effective? No. Are they overpaid people too underqualified to do other jobs? Yes But at least they're improving their attitude and not wasting as much of my time. They're wasting more of your money, though. They still make you take off your shoes. You still have to use those fucking ridiculously small containers for any type of liquid or paste. I have no less desire today to see that agency collapse under its own fucking stupidity and uselessness than I did ten years ago. Any candidate I vote for in any federal election is going to be on the platform of dismantling that organization of fascist douchebags founded by a retard and perpetuated by future retards. Posted by Leisher on Jun. 09 2015,07:51
Sure they're wasting my money, and sure they're wasting my time, but they're not going anywhere anytime soon. That's reality. So the fact that they're being nicer and have sped up the process is welcome. Posted by Malcolm on Jun. 09 2015,07:55
(Leisher @ Jun. 09 2015,09:51) QUOTE Sure they're wasting my money, and sure they're wasting my time, but they're not going anywhere anytime soon. That's reality. So the fact that they're being nicer and have sped up the process is welcome. Slow, incompetent waste doesn't get any more sympathy or acceptance from me than friendly variety. I've only seen them speed things up for those willing to pay for the TSA prescreen line. Give that mafia their protection money. Posted by Leisher on Jun. 09 2015,08:06
And that's why you're part of the problem. Airport security isn't going away, and is not only needed, but wanted. The current setup sucks, but simply spewing hate at it is not a solution or even a rational way to address it. They fixed things the public was pissed about: 1. Lines don't take as long. 2. There are lines for less able bodied folks. 3. They have dramatically improved their attitudes. 4. They don't do the naked photo scanning. (Or are hiding it exceptionally well.) If you don't recognize the positive progress in a broken system, then they won't listen to your feedback going forward. "Just do whatever because they're going to bitch about anything we do." Movement in the right direction is better than no movement or movement in the wrong direction. Posted by GORDON on Jun. 09 2015,08:13
Touching me is a deal breaker.
Posted by Malcolm on Jun. 09 2015,08:16
Making me take off my shoes, and unpack/repack my shit in front of them is fucking stupid. They can bite me until they change those aspects.
Posted by TPRJones on Jun. 09 2015,08:19
I refuse to surrender my fourth amendment rights just to get on a damned airplane. If they have probably cause and a court-issued subpoena they can see in my bag. Until then they can go screw.
Posted by GORDON on Jun. 09 2015,08:20
(TPRJones @ Jun. 09 2015,11:19) QUOTE I refuse to surrender my fourth amendment rights just to get on a damned airplane. If they have probably cause and a court-issued subpoena they can see in my bag. Until then they can go screw. That too. Posted by Vince on Jun. 09 2015,09:46
I address it by not flying anywhere.
Posted by Malcolm on Jun. 09 2015,10:11
I'm forced to take a plane at least a couple times a year because driving takes 10 hours plus and this country can't figure out how to build a train system that moves faster than 1 mph.
Posted by GORDON on Jun. 09 2015,10:20
I think the only way "forced" comes into it is if you're traveling across oceans.
Posted by Malcolm on Jun. 09 2015,10:23
(GORDON @ Jun. 09 2015,12:20) QUOTE I think the only way "forced" comes into it is if you're traveling across oceans. I'm forced to fly like you were forced to pick up an additional member of your household. Posted by TPRJones on Jun. 09 2015,10:34
Like, GORDON got a dog? Or is there another kid on the way?
Posted by Malcolm on Jun. 09 2015,10:37
(TPRJones @ Jun. 09 2015,12:34) QUOTE Like, GORDON got a dog? Or is there another kid on the way? Ever wonder why he's redoing his attic? Posted by TPRJones on Jun. 09 2015,10:55
That's overkill for a dog, so I guess congratulations are in order.
Posted by Malcolm on Jun. 09 2015,11:05
(TPRJones @ Jun. 09 2015,12:55) QUOTE That's overkill for a dog, so I guess congratulations are in order. .... you might want to reread this < thread >. QUOTE So there's big changes going on round here.... my crazy mother-in-law is moving in because she didn't plan at all for her future and it is either she moves in here or she ends up on the streets.
Posted by Vince on Jun. 09 2015,11:08
If he were thinking long term, he'd put MIL in the new attic room and keep the wooden stairs smooth wood that's well polished.That's what I would do. Posted by Malcolm on Jun. 09 2015,11:16
(Vince @ Jun. 09 2015,13:08) QUOTE If he were thinking long term, he'd put MIL in the new attic room and keep the wooden stairs smooth wood that's well polished. That's what I would do. Stairs? I was going to go with an incline plane or sheer drop. Posted by TPRJones on Jun. 09 2015,11:46
Oh, right! I had forgotten.Should have gone with the dog. Posted by Vince on Jun. 09 2015,12:54
(Malcolm @ Jun. 09 2015,13:16) QUOTE (Vince @ Jun. 09 2015,13:08) QUOTE If he were thinking long term, he'd put MIL in the new attic room and keep the wooden stairs smooth wood that's well polished. That's what I would do. Stairs? I was going to go with an incline plane or sheer drop. Well, you want the new room to be useful after. Posted by GORDON on Jun. 09 2015,13:05
(Malcolm @ Jun. 09 2015,13:23) QUOTE (GORDON @ Jun. 09 2015,12:20) QUOTE I think the only way "forced" comes into it is if you're traveling across oceans. I'm forced to fly like you were forced to pick up an additional member of your household. 1600 miles, Toledo to Yellowstone. Drove it. 1100 miles Toledo to Disneyworld. Drove it 3 times. 900 miles Toledo to Hot Springs, Arkansas, via Memphis. Drove it. Niagara Falls. Topsail Island, NC. More trips than I can remember. Flying would have been a lot faster, but I wasn't forced. Money volunteered to airport TSA to violate my rights: zero. Integrity status: intact. Posted by Malcolm on Jun. 09 2015,13:26
The difference is if you don't drive 1100 miles to Disneyworld to see it, Disneyworld won't come to see you later on the in year to balance shit out. Sure as hell ain't Disneyworld coming to see me, either.
Posted by GORDON on Jun. 09 2015,13:30
(Malcolm @ Jun. 09 2015,14:16) QUOTE (Vince @ Jun. 09 2015,13:08) QUOTE If he were thinking long term, he'd put MIL in the new attic room and keep the wooden stairs smooth wood that's well polished. That's what I would do. Stairs? I was going to go with an incline plane or sheer drop. I actually floated the idea of firemans' pole but was shot down. I ALMOST got them (her) to agree to a slide to come down, but there were space issues. Posted by Malcolm on Jun. 09 2015,13:34
(GORDON @ Jun. 09 2015,15:30) QUOTE ... there were space issues. Between the house and the slide or the slide and the mother-in-law? Posted by Malcolm on Jun. 16 2015,10:13
< TSA says >...QUOTE The Transportation Security Administration says none of the 73 airport workers found to have unspecified ties to terrorism is actually a suspected terrorist or threat to aviation security. That's funny. Neither am I, but I still have to go through all your security bullshit, you spineless, worthless, liberty-violating, diseased pustules of human beings. QUOTE ... the airport workers had terrorism-related activity codes associated with their names in a government terrorism database, and called them a "potential transportation security threat." Suck a dick. So potential threats warrant wiretaps and other illegal monitoring, but working for the TSA is fine. Fucking retards. Posted by TheCatt on Jun. 24 2015,12:44
I guess the line got too long today. We got expedited. Kept shoes on, laptop in bag, liquids inside, etc. just the old fashioned metal detector, the end. Was only a 15 minute or less wait, so not sure.
Posted by Malcolm on Jun. 24 2015,12:52
QUOTE Kept shoes on, laptop in bag, liquids inside, etc. just the old fashioned metal detector, the end. Dear god, man, they didn't search everyone's shoes and you made it out alive?!?! Living fucking dangerously. I'm waiting for the first terrorist to hide a bomb in his ass so all the TSA douchebags have to check there as well. Posted by TheCatt on Jun. 24 2015,15:56
The legroom I got on the flight was amazing. I could literally stretch my legs all the way out without even hitting the seat in front of me
Posted by GORDON on Jun. 24 2015,15:57
Way to financially support the oppressive system, Quisling.
Posted by TheCatt on Jun. 24 2015,16:01
(GORDON @ Jun. 24 2015,18:57) QUOTE Way to financially support the oppressive system, Quisling. I need to get paid, man. $65 an hour to go through security and ride the plane. Posted by Troy on Jun. 24 2015,17:49
They have not been removing shoes and belts or almost anything but bags on scanners in the Atlanta airport, it is a very recent thing, like sub-a-month. Makes the lines way better.
Posted by Troy on Jun. 24 2015,17:50
I bet when I go home it'll be back to normal though. John Wayne OC airport is cute.
Posted by TheCatt on Jun. 24 2015,18:11
(Troy @ Jun. 24 2015,20:49) QUOTE They have not been removing shoes and belts or almost anything but bags on scanners in the Atlanta airport, it is a very recent thing, like sub-a-month. Makes the lines way better. Still took the dude in front of me 3 tries to get through the metal detector. Posted by Malcolm on Jul. 29 2015,10:29
< New TSA head > grilled by Congressmen, who promptly turn around and give him MORE money to run a department described as ...QUOTE TSA airport screeners did not detect banned weapons in 67 of 70 tests at dozens of airport checkpoints. ... "TSA is plagued with very low morale and an extremely high turnover rate," Thompson said. When you ask someone to do a job that directly involves them shitting all over the Bill of Rights, you can't wonder why that's the case. Posted by TPRJones on Jul. 29 2015,10:54
QUOTE TSA chief vows to close security gaps Headline fixed. Posted by Malcolm on Jul. 30 2015,10:16
< Let me > preface this. I despise Morrissey. I hate his singing style, I hate his ego, I hate his insane views on life. < Security officer > at San Fran airport plays with his dick and balls.QUOTE Two members of the British Airways Special Services suggested that Morrissey file a complaint, but they confronted the officer before it was officially submitted. Morrissey describes the following exchange between the special services officers and the alleged groper: You have just sexually groped this man. Officer: That's just your opinion. What you have done is illegal. Officer: That's just your opinion. You have no right to do what you have just done. Officer: That's just your opinion. The TSA is now applying the Lebowski defense to their actions. Posted by TheCatt on Aug. 21 2015,16:12
Rdu got the scanner.Boston, the metal detector. And really short lines. Posted by Malcolm on Oct. 08 2015,10:37
DHS is 14 today. Fuck it, the mindless bureaucrats who fund it, and may their foulness rot in hell.
Posted by TheCatt on Nov. 11 2015,15:51
Today I got to be in the special passenger line and go straight to the guy who checks your I'd and boarding pass.Too bad I still ended up I. The normal X-ray line. Where they were apparently training some woman. Based o. Her expression, it looked like she was saying g "how the hell y'all ever see anything in these xrays?" And the trainer was like "just let em through " Posted by Malcolm on Nov. 25 2015,16:47
At airport. Took two minutes to get thru security.
Posted by Troy on Nov. 25 2015,17:08
(Malcolm @ Nov. 25 2015,19:47) QUOTE At airport. Took two minutes to get thru security. Same in SF. Bouncing in atl and ending in rdu. Posted by GORDON on Nov. 25 2015,17:10
So.... if their jobs are all made-up and make-believe... and they are under orders to not have long lines this holiday weekend.... does this mean they aren't doing their jobs as well, or doing their jobs better?
Posted by Malcolm on Nov. 25 2015,17:31
Their was an increased threat, so they got real. For some reason, it's impossible to be this efficient regularly.I have no fiction to read on the flight except a boobie prize from a trivia night a few months ago -- Predator: Forever Midnight. Maybe it won't suck. Posted by Malcolm on Dec. 28 2015,08:28
Another year of holiday travel, another day wishing everyone in the TSA would get brought up on charges of conspiracy to violate civil rights.Their fucking bullshit screening machine yielded 4-5 false positives when I walked through. I saw the display output and it seems to mistake "empty space in a pocket" for "something in a pocket." Fucking retarded. < Feds > using TSA to as muscle on the states, because FUCK YOU think of the national security. QUOTE Marc Rotenberg, the president of the Electronic Privacy Information Center, said he agreed with some provisions of the law, which are meant to make driver’s licenses more tamper-proof and less likely to be counterfeited. But he is concerned with all the information being available on the cards in a way that makes it more shareable. ”That’s exactly what we should not be doing,” he said. Fortunately, the US gov't has never fucked up a large scale electronic security initiative. Suck a dick and die, TSA. Posted by Malcolm on Jan. 06 2016,10:26
< Today's > "Fuck the TSA" story.
Posted by GORDON on Jan. 25 2016,04:55
DEA paying TSA agent a percentage on any money he can steal from luggage.< http://rare.us/story....fiscate > Posted by Malcolm on Jan. 25 2016,07:27
(GORDON @ Jan. 25 2016,06:55) QUOTE DEA paying TSA agent a percentage on any money he can steal from luggage. < http://rare.us/story....fiscate > QUOTE “This really is what we see every day around the country,” explained Robert Everett Johnson of the Institute for Justice. “When law enforcement takes property using civil forfeiture, law enforcement is able to keep that property and use it to fund their budgets and in many cases even to pay the salaries of people who are overseeing the forfeitures.” Pigs need to feed the greed. Good to know the DEA is stealing people's shit without having to trump up bullshit drug charges against them. Also an organization whose < understanding of science > is on a comparable level to Biblical creationists. Posted by Malcolm on Mar. 11 2016,18:40
< To be fair >, New Jersey should be treated like a quarantine zone.
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