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Topic: General TSA thread< Next Oldest | Next Newest >
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GORDON Search for posts by this member.
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PostIcon Posted on: Jan. 31 2014,06:09  Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE

Former groper describes his 4 years on the job.

http://www.politico.com/magazin....6rQz0qg


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Malcolm Search for posts by this member.
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PostIcon Posted on: Jan. 31 2014,12:19 Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE

Will be making my first non-holiday flight in a bit.  Wonder if shit's different.

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Diogenes of Sinope:

"It is not that I am mad, it is only that my head is different from yours."

"Other dogs bite only their enemies, whereas I bite also my friends in order to save them."

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PostIcon Posted on: Feb. 20 2014,10:39 Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE

TSA still functionally retarded.
QUOTE
The Homeland Security Department has warned airlines that terrorists could try to hide explosives in shoes. It's the second time in less than three weeks that the government has issued a warning about possible attempts to smuggle explosives on a commercial jetliner.

A warning about a possible attempt?  That's some concrete shit right there.

QUOTE
The official said "something caused DHS concern, but it's a very low threshold to trigger a warning like this." The official spoke on condition of anonymity because he was not authorized to discuss the issue publicly.


But don't worry, you can always pay to avoid this annoyance.
QUOTE
The security agency has also launched a fee-based program that allows willing flyers to submit to background checks and avoid having to remove their shoes, jackets and small amounts of liquids packed in carry-on luggage.


--------------
Diogenes of Sinope:

"It is not that I am mad, it is only that my head is different from yours."

"Other dogs bite only their enemies, whereas I bite also my friends in order to save them."

Arnold Judas Rimmer, BSC, SSC:

"Better dead than smeg."
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PostIcon Posted on: Feb. 20 2014,11:19 Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE

But terrorists cannot pay, right?

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PostIcon Posted on: Feb. 20 2014,11:27 Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE


(TheCatt @ Feb. 20 2014,13:19)
QUOTE
But terrorists cannot pay, right?

I'm sure there's no way they'll fool our bulletproof background checking system.


Edited by Malcolm on Feb. 20 2014,11:27

--------------
Diogenes of Sinope:

"It is not that I am mad, it is only that my head is different from yours."

"Other dogs bite only their enemies, whereas I bite also my friends in order to save them."

Arnold Judas Rimmer, BSC, SSC:

"Better dead than smeg."
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Malcolm Search for posts by this member.
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PostIcon Posted on: Nov. 26 2014,17:33 Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE

Another trip to the airport, another dream of pissing on dubyuh's grave for the tsa.

--------------
Diogenes of Sinope:

"It is not that I am mad, it is only that my head is different from yours."

"Other dogs bite only their enemies, whereas I bite also my friends in order to save them."

Arnold Judas Rimmer, BSC, SSC:

"Better dead than smeg."
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PostIcon Posted on: Jan. 05 2015,06:03 Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE

CURSE THE BRILLIANT TSA

Best send up yet.

http://www.powerlineblog.com/archive....tsa.php


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PostIcon Posted on: Jan. 05 2015,20:40 Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE

I went to Hawaii after Christmas and flew back Saturday.
I had no trouble with the TSA because I had my daughter with me.
Kids under 12 and their chaperons don't have to go through the body scanner, we only had to go through the metal detector.

On the way back we had to sit in the plane for awhile because Air Force One was taking the President back and they had to clear the runways until he left.


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PostIcon Posted on: Jan. 06 2015,07:45 Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE

QUOTE
Kids under 12 and their chaperons don't have to go through the body scanner, we only had to go through the metal detector.

If I could rent one just long enough to make it through security, I'd pay.


--------------
Diogenes of Sinope:

"It is not that I am mad, it is only that my head is different from yours."

"Other dogs bite only their enemies, whereas I bite also my friends in order to save them."

Arnold Judas Rimmer, BSC, SSC:

"Better dead than smeg."
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Malcolm Search for posts by this member.
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PostIcon Posted on: Jan. 21 2015,10:48 Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE

Supreme Court rules TSA can't legally fuck former air marshal in the ass.
QUOTE
MacLean contends that just after being briefed in 2003 about a potential terrorist attack, he received another TSA message: Because of a budget shortfall, the agency was cutting back on the number of flights marshals could cover.

MacLean said he went to his boss, who told him to keep quiet, and to the department’s inspector general. Stymied, he leaked the information to a reporter for MSNBC.

His identity was discovered years later, and he was fired for disclosing what is known as “sensitive security information,” or SSI.

Another reason to fuck the TSA.


--------------
Diogenes of Sinope:

"It is not that I am mad, it is only that my head is different from yours."

"Other dogs bite only their enemies, whereas I bite also my friends in order to save them."

Arnold Judas Rimmer, BSC, SSC:

"Better dead than smeg."
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Malcolm Search for posts by this member.
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PostIcon Posted on: Feb. 10 2015,10:13 Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE

TSA foiled again by elderly woman.  They totally deserve that funding they're asking for.

--------------
Diogenes of Sinope:

"It is not that I am mad, it is only that my head is different from yours."

"Other dogs bite only their enemies, whereas I bite also my friends in order to save them."

Arnold Judas Rimmer, BSC, SSC:

"Better dead than smeg."
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Malcolm Search for posts by this member.
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PostIcon Posted on: Apr. 01 2015,10:10 Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE

How the TSA spots "threats."
QUOTE
A new list says "excessive yawning," "whistling" and "too much laughter" could get you into trouble with airport security agents.  Those gestures, along with "disguises," "face pale from recent shaving of beard," "excessive throat clearing" and "gazing down," all came out in a SPOT (Screening of Passengers by Observation Techniques) referral report. Sources tell ABC News that the report is a "closely held" Transportation Security Administration document which describes the behavior officers look for when observing suspicious travelers and possible terrorists.

This organization is my primary example of why the federal gov't is a fucking joke and I refuse to participate in its elections anymore.  I haven't heard anyone in Washington say it should be defunded and disbanded.


Edited by Malcolm on Apr. 01 2015,10:11

--------------
Diogenes of Sinope:

"It is not that I am mad, it is only that my head is different from yours."

"Other dogs bite only their enemies, whereas I bite also my friends in order to save them."

Arnold Judas Rimmer, BSC, SSC:

"Better dead than smeg."
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PostIcon Posted on: Jun. 02 2015,10:20 Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE

TSA passes 95% of airport security tests.  Oh, wait a second.  I meant FAILED.
QUOTE
Officials briefed on the Homeland Security Inspector General's investigation told the station that the TSA failed 67 out of 70 tests conducted by the department's Red Teams -- undercover passengers tasked with identifying weaknesses in the screening process, NJ.com reports.

5%.

QUOTE
"The numbers in these reports never look good out of context, but they are a critical element in the continual evolution of our aviation security,"

CONTEXT?  What fucking context is there?

QUOTE
"Sure, it’s great to share the things that our officers are finding, but at the same time, each time we find a dangerous item, the line is slowed down and a passenger that likely had no ill intent ends up with a citation or in some cases is even arrested."

Jesus fuck.  I don't even know what I can add to that statement to make it more damning.

Here's the new boss.  I'd like to preemptively say, "Fuck you, Peter.  If you had any integrity whatsoever, you'd decline the nomination."


Edited by Malcolm on Jun. 02 2015,10:22

--------------
Diogenes of Sinope:

"It is not that I am mad, it is only that my head is different from yours."

"Other dogs bite only their enemies, whereas I bite also my friends in order to save them."

Arnold Judas Rimmer, BSC, SSC:

"Better dead than smeg."
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PostIcon Posted on: Jun. 06 2015,09:56 Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE

Write this shit down and circle your calendar, then frame that mofo.

TSA employee genuinely saves a life.  Granted, it has nothing to do with airport security or anything even close to what his job's about.


--------------
Diogenes of Sinope:

"It is not that I am mad, it is only that my head is different from yours."

"Other dogs bite only their enemies, whereas I bite also my friends in order to save them."

Arnold Judas Rimmer, BSC, SSC:

"Better dead than smeg."
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Malcolm Search for posts by this member.
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PostIcon Posted on: Jun. 08 2015,12:08 Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE

TSA misses 73 airport workers "linked to terrorism."
QUOTE
According to the report, the TSA had been unable to find 73 individuals "linked to terrorism" because the information the TSA received from the Department of Homeland Security Watchlist Service and used for vetting did not contain the terrorism "codes" associated with the 73 individuals. In other words, TSA did not have the entire terror watchlist.

Funny, I see to remember the DHS being created specifically to tie together all the other intel organizations in the country.  Can they do any-fucking-thing right?


--------------
Diogenes of Sinope:

"It is not that I am mad, it is only that my head is different from yours."

"Other dogs bite only their enemies, whereas I bite also my friends in order to save them."

Arnold Judas Rimmer, BSC, SSC:

"Better dead than smeg."
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PostIcon Posted on: Jun. 08 2015,12:28 Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE

They can create a massive jobs program for people unqualified for most other things right when the economy is tanking.

Since you asked.


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PostIcon Posted on: Jun. 08 2015,13:29 Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE


(GORDON @ Jun. 08 2015,14:28)
QUOTE
They can create a massive jobs program for people unqualified for most other things right when the economy is tanking.

Since you asked.

Can we call it what it is?  The Short Bus job agency?

--------------
Diogenes of Sinope:

"It is not that I am mad, it is only that my head is different from yours."

"Other dogs bite only their enemies, whereas I bite also my friends in order to save them."

Arnold Judas Rimmer, BSC, SSC:

"Better dead than smeg."
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PostIcon Posted on: Jun. 08 2015,13:39 Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE

Highly paid, and unionized, too.

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PostIcon Posted on: Jun. 09 2015,04:45 Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE

I flew to San Jose yesterday.  The TSA portion was very unremarkable.

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PostIcon Posted on: Jun. 09 2015,05:47 Skip to the previous post in this topic.  Ignore posts   QUOTE

As you know, I've been flying a lot lately, and I've noticed that most of the TSA agents no longer act like Nazis. I've only encountered one person who looked at everyone like they're terrorists. Their lines have also improved tremendously. Instead of standing for hours as they slowly went through their process, getting through security takes about as long as it did pre-9/11.

Are they effective? No.
Are they overpaid people too underqualified to do other jobs? Yes

But at least they're improving their attitude and not wasting as much of my time.
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