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Topic: Write your own funny headline< Next Oldest | Next Newest >
 Post Number: 1
Leisher Search for posts by this member.
Top 3%, yo.
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PostIcon Posted on: Sep. 22 2009,08:01  Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE
Man, Facing 90 Charges of Child Porn Possession, Blames Cat

Saturday, September 19, 2009  

STUART, Fla —  Authorities have filed another 90 charges of possession of child pornography against a Martin County man who blamed the crime on his cat.

According to a sheriff's report, Jensen Beach resident Keith Griffin told investigators that pornographic images downloaded when his cat jumped on his computer keyboard while he was downloading music.

Griffin was arrested in early August and charged with 10 counts of possession of child pornography. Investigators filed the additional charges on Thursday.

Griffin is being held in lieu of $2.2 million bail at the Martin County Jail. He was not immediately known if he has an attorney.

Sheriff's officials said a family friend was caring for the cat.
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GORDON Search for posts by this member.
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PostIcon Posted on: Sep. 22 2009,08:15 Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE
Kitty porn.

Edited by GORDON on Sep. 22 2009,08:15

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I don't give a fuck!
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Malcolm Search for posts by this member.
I disagree.
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PostIcon Posted on: Sep. 22 2009,09:59 Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE
One of three cases is true ...

(i) one of his keys triggered a macro to download porn

(ii) the cat is secretly a genius & sentient enough to fuck over its owner ... I'm fairly certain all cats would kill their owners given the chance.

(iii) epic fail

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Diogenes of Sinope:

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"Other dogs bite only their enemies, whereas I bite also my friends in order to save them."

Arnold Judas Rimmer, BSC, SSC:

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TPRJones Search for posts by this member.
I saw The Fault in our Stars opening night.
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PostIcon Posted on: Sep. 22 2009,10:06 Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE
(iv) "Cat" is the name of his lover; a midget in a kitten fursuit.

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Malcolm Search for posts by this member.
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PostIcon Posted on: Sep. 22 2009,11:18 Skip to the previous post in this topic.  Ignore posts   QUOTE

(TPRJones @ Sep. 22 2009,12:06)
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(iv) "Cat" is the name of his lover; a midget in a kitten fursuit.

We should start DTM Legal Consulting.  Maybe we can get The Onion to bankroll us.  Worse defenses have gotten criminals off.

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Diogenes of Sinope:

"It is not that I am mad, it is only that my head is different from yours."

"Other dogs bite only their enemies, whereas I bite also my friends in order to save them."

Arnold Judas Rimmer, BSC, SSC:

"Better dead than smeg."
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